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Tigatron looked over to the spotted kitten laying under the shade of a tree, growling as he waged his tail in anger. “What’s going on kitten?” Tigatron asked, brushing his neck over Cheetor’s. Cheetor visit before snapping at him with a his as he growl louder. Tigatron growled back, nipping Cheetor’s neck lightly, showing his dominance over the younger cat. Cheetor growled back, forcing Tigatron to bit him harder. Cheetor lay his head down in defense. “What’s bothering you, little cat?” Tigatron asked, again laying down beside Cheetor. “I feel weird.” Cheetor admitted after a minute of quite. Tigatron turned to Cheetor. “Care to talk about it?” “I feel frustrated.” Cheetor cuddled in to Tigatron, laying his head on Tigatron neck for comfort. Tigatron nodded, cuddling Cheetor. “About what?” Cheetor went quite,thinking. “Like I need something, but I don’t know what.” Cheetor explained, “I feel that I’m on fire. Like..” “Like what, Kitten?” Tigatron asked. Cheetor growled. “I tried to attack Airazer this morning.” Cheetor looked down in shame. “I stopped myself though.” Tigatron laughed, shacking his head gently. Airazer had told him about the insadent, half understanding what Cheetor was going though. Tigatron had gone though it himself. “Your not helping.” Cheetor got up, blinking the tears out of his eyes. “I wanted to kill her!” Tigatron looked to Cheetor. “I don’t think that what you wanted.” Tigatron smiled. “I almost jumped her!” Cheetor yelled, as he transformed. Angry at Tigatron for not understanding, and the pain in his belly. Tigatron walked over to Cheetor Transforming as well. “Your hunger for her?” Tigatron asked, his voice sounding rougher, as he pulled the younger cat roughly in his arms. “Yes!” Cheetor yelled, his angry turning to shock. Cheetor looked away ashamed. “Why are you shamed?” Tigatron asked taking Cheetor’s chin in his hand, petting his check with the other. “Why aren’t you mad at me?” Cheetor continued to look down. “Should I be?” Tigatron continuing to petting Cheetor cheek. “Your young, Cheetor. You’re at the age where your bode is changing.” Tigatron explain, “Having a beast mode doesn’t help.” Cheetor looked up to him in question, his eyes fully of worry. “You’re beast mode has gone into heat.” Tigatron lifted Cheetor chin, forcing the little cat to look him in the eyes. “Its normal.” Tigatron assuring him as he learned in, running his thumb over Cheetor’s lips. “I’ve gone though it as well.” Cheetor looked up to him in shock. “It’s a part of being a cat.” Tigatron ran his hand softly down Cheetor’s arm, slipping the other around Cheetor’s waist pulling Cheetor close to him. Learning down to Cheetor’s height, Tigatron moved slowly in gently kissed Cheetor’s lips. ___________________
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Student was searching for divine inspiration. Student walked high on the mountain of knowledge and came across God. Student asked God how to live life as a college kid should. And God said unto him, follow these Ten Commandments and you shall be all a college kid is. And Student thanked God and it was good. And Student spread the Ten Commandments of College to all.
I- Thou Shalt Nap And God gave unto Student a great gift, the gift of napping. God said to him, You shall spend half your day napping. You shall nap in class, in your room and in your friend's room. And God said, if you don't nap, you will not be able to stay up all night drinking. And Student said, Nap I shall, and it was good.
II- Thou Shalt Get Sick All the Time Now God said to Student, you must be sick all of the time. And student said why. And God said unto him, you shall share drinks, stay up too late, drink too much and make out with people you don't know. Therefore, God said, you shall be sick all year round. But God said, blessed are the sick for they have partied the hardest. And it was good.
III- Thou Shalt Write Witty Away Messages Student asked, but God, how will I show everyone that I am funny? And God said unto him, thou shall write witty away messages. God said to student, you shall never just say you are in the shower, you shall say you are getting wet and wild...in the shower. You shall never say you are at class, you shall say you are sleeping...in class. God said, if you do not write witty away messages, I shall smite you. Blessed are the funny, for they will get many girls to be their friends but never hook up with them. And it was good.
IV- Thou Shalt Wear a Hoodie And then Student asked God, God how do I look like a college kid. And God said unto student, you must wear a hoodie, for it is a useful garment. And you shall never wash it either. Student asked God what kind of Hoodie should it be and God said, you shall own one with your school's logo on it and you shall own many others of varying colors and creeds. And Student was pleased and God was pleased.
V- Thou Shalt Shit a Lot And Student asked of his bathroom habit and God told him, Student, you shall eat in the Cafeteria and you shall shit a lot. And it will not be good shit, it will be the shit of the devil for your ass shall burn for hours. Your school shall put laxatives in their food and you shall feel their pain. And Student began to weep, and God said unto him, Student, fear not the shit, for all your fellow students will be experiencing the same. And Student dried his eyes and thanked God and God told him to use wet naps to ease the pain.
VI- Thou Shalt Eat EasyMac Student asked unto God if there was any alternatives to the cafeteria, and God said to him, you shall eat a lot of EasyMac. It is easy to make and you don't need milk or a stove. And student said microwaves were forbidden by the RA. And God said to him, you shall hide the microwave under your bed with a towel on top. And Student asked, what if it is discovered. And God told him to stop being such a pussy, and it was good.
VII- Thou Shalt Hook Up Student then asked of sex. And God said, Student, you shall hook up and be happy. You shall go home with random people every weekend and forget about them the next day. You shall see them at class and be awkward amongst their company. You shall exchange saliva at bars and parties and it will be good. And Student became gleeful and God told Student to wrap it up because He knows where she has been, but Student does not.
VIII- Thou Shalt Join a Club and Never Go to Meetings Student inquired of his spare time and God reminded him that he should be napping. But Student said he wanted to do other things. So God said unto him, you shall join a club at the beginning of the semester, but then never go to meetings. And Student asked why he should not go to meetings, and God told him, because the glee club is gay. And Student understood His wisdom.
IX- Thou Shalt Wake Up Confused God said to Student, there will come many a day when you shall wake up in the bed of another and not know where you are. You will not remember what you did last night and you shall be confused. You will see that you have nipple rings and a tattoo now and are covered in Sharpie. And Student was disturbed by this, but God said, you shall tell great stories about it to your friends someday. And Student understood and God took a sip of a beer.
And God gave Student the final Commandment
X- Thou Shalt Gain Weight And Student wished to hear the final commandment and God said he would not like it. But Student insisted, so God said unto him, you shall gain weight. However, God said, you will not buy new clothes, so you will wear sweat pants a lot. God said, Student, you will watch a lot of TV and become fat to which Student wept profusely. But God comforted Student saying, you will still get ass even if you cannot tie your shoes anymore. Student felt better and God pointed to Student's chest saying, those will soon be bitch tits. And it was good.
This is the word of God, follow the Ten Commandments of College or you will be smote!
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